NumisAntics

The Lighter Side of Coins and Currency

Errors, Varieties, Found in Rolls, Unique and Interesting Coins and Currency

Welcome to

Numismatic Humor

#1:
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?

A: a $100 bill

 

#2:

Q: What was the bad zinc cent running from?

A: The Coppers

 

#3:

Your name is Penny?  So does that mean that if I pick you up, I'll get lucky?

 

#4:

Q: Why wouldn't George Washington be able to throw a silver dollar across the Potomac if he were alive today?

A: Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.

 

#5:

If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first?

The quarter, because it has less sense.

 

#6

Coin collecting is the only hobby were you go broke and still have money.

 

#7

A little boy wanted $100 and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.

It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money.

However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

 

#8:

Oh,Look,see the deer? Does the deer have any doe?...ya,two bucks!..Nyuck Nyuck

-Three Stooges

 

#9:

There's a traveling salesman, on one fine day he stops by a large retail chain to peddle his wares. To his surprise the chain buys everything he has to offer. He then returns with to his head office with the store's check in hand, he receives a very large commission check. Now it seems that his lifelong dream to finish his mint-state Mercury dime collection can be realized. The next week he is traveling through a small town with only a single coin dealer, he goes into the shop and asks if the owner has a 1916D Mercury dime. The shop keeper does have one (and only one). He goes into the back while the salesman is looking around and gets from the safe a spectacular, toned 1916D. He shows the gem of a coin to the salesman, the sun coming in through the window radiates all the colors of the rainbow off the coin, the salesman is impressed. He asks the proprietor of the shop if he might have one that is not toned. The owner says he has another one in the back. He takes the coin from the salesman and slips into the back of the store and takes out his coin dip and dips the coin. It is now quite a nice blazing white BU. He brings this out to show the salesman. The salesman really likes the coin and mentions that he has had a good week lately and says "Great, I'll take both of them."

 

#10:

A middle-aged woman calls her obstetrician in a panic. "Doctor, every time I go to the bathroom, nickels come out!" "Calm down," the doctor advises her, "it's nothing to be alarmed about."

A week later she's on the phone again, "Doctor, it's getting worse, now every time I go to the bathroom quarters come out!" "Not to worry," he says, "just go about your day."

Finally another week passes, and the woman shows up at his office. "Doc, you have to do something, now every time I go to the bathroom, half dollars come out!"

"Relax," he says, "you're just going through your change."

 

#11:

Q: Why was the Liberty nickel so happy?
A: Because it was free!

 

#12:
Q: Why were all the coins unhappy?
A: The Wartime Nickel and the Peace dollar were fighting.

 

#13:
Q: What's a coin collector's favorite breakfast cereal?
A: "Wheaties"

 

#14:
Q: What's a coin collector's favorite breakfast cereal?
A: Millinium Cheerios

 

#15:
Q: Why didn't the War Nickel get hurt during the fight? 
A: He used a Shield nickel for protection.

 

#16:
A beautiful walker came into room.  All eyes fell upon her.  She's a perfect 10 said my friend. No, I corrected him, that barely makes her good.  She's a 70.

 

#17:
Did you read about the civil unrest in my coin collection? The Peace dollars staged a Seated Liberty protest.

 

#18:
It's just not right that the Large Cents pick on the Little lincolns.  It just doesn't make cents.

 

#19:
Q: Why was the Zinc Cent arrested?
A: Because someone called the "Coppers"....

 

#20:
Q: Why doesn't the 1943 Lincoln lose a fight? 
A: He's the original man of steel.

 

#21:
Q. Why does the 3 cent coin feel left out?
A. Because it can't put in its' 2 cents worth

 

#22:
I was showing a friend some Barber coins the other day.  She asked I knew of any for women that worked at the hair salon.

 

#23
Q: Why did the St. Gaudens get so excited when she went golfing?
A: She had a double eagle!

 

#24:
-coming soon-

 

#25:
Q: How do you tell which Miss Libertys on coins are blondes?
A: Their hair is double-died!

 

#26:
Q: Where is the Indian Head Nickel's favorite city to go on vacation?
A: Buffalo

 

#27:
Q: Why did the coin collector put Tic-Tac's into an Altoids tin?
A: So that he could have a "mint error" !

 

#28:
Q: Why do coin collectors' bison ranches always go out of business?
A: They pay extra money for Buffalos that have only three legs!

 

#29:
An '82 Lincoln went to the doctor feeling sick. The doc told him he needed more zinc!

 

#30:
Q: Why did the Standing Liberty Quarter and Buffalo nickel have to dance with each other?
A: Neither one had dates.


 

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